


in the pines

by radiantbeams



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 20:43:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17251082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiantbeams/pseuds/radiantbeams
Summary: On the search for Bucky, Steve is forced to confront a personal demon he'd long thought he'd defeated.





	in the pines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [abrightgrayworld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrightgrayworld/gifts).



> I really enjoyed writing this. Sorry it's maybe a little short! I hope you like it :)

Sam didn’t really think much of it when they boarded the train for Lithuania. He’d ridden plenty of trains from Harlem to visit his family upstate; trains were normal. He threw his duffle up over the little rack above their seats and took the one by the window. Steve usually liked to sit on the aisle claiming there was more legroom. At least he did when they took commercial planes, and how different were they if you got down to brass tacks? People didn’t get nervous riding  _ trains _ . Flying, maybe, but Sam honestly had never heard of someone flipping the fuck out on a train. Although, ‘flipping the fuck out’ looked very different for Steve than some other people. 

They’d only been seated and rolling for maybe a minute when Steve shot up out of his seat and mumbled something about going to the bathroom.

It’d been an hour since that happened and Sam was starting to get a little worried. He probably should have been worried way sooner than  _ a whole hour _ but he’d fallen asleep for a bit. It was a really early board, sue him.

He craned his neck around to look toward the back of the car. The luggage closet was securely shut and the bathroom had the little red ‘occupied’ flag still up. There wasn’t a line, but Sam had seen a few people get up and sit back down again, or just turn around and go to another car.

Steeling himself, Sam got up and hovered outside the door, trying to listen for any movement inside. Of course, the clatter of the tracks obscured anything he’d hope to find out. This would be embarrassing if Steve wasn’t even in the bathroom at all and Sam was about to break down the door on a clueless civilian.

He knocked quietly. “Steve, buddy, you in there? Y’alright?”

No response.

At this point, Sam had kind of figured something terrible had happened. Maybe Steve had been kidnapped or something, got into a fight and shoved out a window. Sam had come to understand that anything, no matter how improbable or impossible, could happen to Steve Rogers. He was just a magnet for trouble.

“Steve? Please tell me you’re still in there, because I really don’t want to be talking to some stranger while they’re trying to take a crap.” The lock clicked to green and Sam had a half a second of an ‘oh shit’ moment before the door opened popped open just a crack and he could see Steve’s broad frame crammed into the little room.

“Y’alright?” He asked again, when Steve didn’t make any indication for what Sam should… do. He used his fingertips to push it open a little more.

Steve stepped out of the way, a clear signal Sam should follow him in. Sam had to squish them awfully close together so he could get the door closed behind them again.

“Are you okay?” Sam tried to meet Steve’s eye, or at least get a clear view of his face, but he kept it hidden. Sam took a step forward and put what he hoped was a comforting hand on his shoulder. He noticed kind of absently that his t-shirt was damp.

“Sorry, I just…” Steve whispered, shoving his face away further, so he almost had his back to the door.

“What’s going on? Are you-- I…” Sam wracked his brain to come up with any guess. But he was still kind of tired and still kind of jet lagged and he couldn’t come up with anything.

“Umm… well, I-- What do you call it now?” Steve brought up a hand to pinch at his brow. He felt his shoulders shake beneath his hand and Sam watched as his chest heaved-- stuttering in a short, anxious breath.

“Uh, triggering?” Steve continued, voice muffled behind his arm. “A trigger? I guess, um, the train… it…”

“The train was a trigger for you?” Sam sumized, finally catching up.

“Yeah.” Steve whispered, shrunk in on himself. Sam hadn’t seen him look so small ever before. “I thought… it didn’t even cross my mind, that’d it be-- like this.”

Instead of trying to think of something more to say, Sam bodily moved him into a hug, putting Steve’s head on his shoulder. He wasn’t that much shorter, but enough that it might have been a little awkward for Steve to crane his neck. His’s arms stayed crossed defensively against his chest for a moment, but he eventually relaxed enough to let them fall and wrap around Sam’s waist.

“I lost him once already, Sam, I can’t do it again,” Steve whispered into his neck, hot breath puffing against Sam’s collarbone.

Putting all the pieces together, Sam felt like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. Or even predicting it before they boarded. Of  _ course _ Steve would hate trains. Probably hadn’t ever needed to get on one since that cold winter morning in 1945.

“We’ll find him.” Sam soothed softly. “I won’t let you lose him again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> [HERE](http://radiantbeams.tumblr.com/post/181600204739/in-the-pines-1k-steve-rogers-sam-wilson-by) is a link to the tumblr post.


End file.
